“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”
― Patrick Rothfuss
If you were not aware about this, then it will probably be one of the most important discoveries of your life. It definitely was in mine.
Now, by self image I’m not talkning about what you see when you look in the mirror. What I mean is the mental picture that you have of yourself. For example if you see yourself as a smoker, overweight, shy, bad in school, unlikable, then that is a part of your self image.
It’s so important to become aware of because it has such a tremendous impact on your outside and inside world. Who you see yourself as is what your life is going to reflect. It determines your actions and your model of reality. We can’t surpass the limits of our current self image.
Your self image is a result of the things you have gone through and the experiences you’ve had in life. You have programmed yourself, but it has happened kind of randomly and unconsciously. You have created patterns, stories and beliefs and those make up your life situation.
The bad thing is that a lot of people never update their self image. Partly because they’re simply not aware of it.
We tend to change so many things outside ourselves like income, partner and how we dress, but never the inside.
Almost everyone who’s ever wanted to improve their life has looked for it on the outside first. We’ve all tried to search “how to”on Google. “How to” loose wight, “how to” make money from home, “how to” write a book and there’re always thousands of answers on how to do it. And the far majority of the answers come from people who’s actually done it before themselves. So why is it that no matter what we try we can’t seem to do the same? The thing is, the “how to” is very simple. The reason why we “can’t do it” is because of our self image.
For example if you want to lose weight there’re thousands of ways to do it. Many of us has started on countless diets but no matter what we do we can’t seem to stick to it. We adopt a new diet, we loose a little weight but then we end up just where we started or even worse. The reason for this is that we change our lifestyle but not our self image. You still see yourself as overweight and think to yourself that this is who you are. If an overweight person does not alter their self image, then any weight loss will be temporary.
It’s not the food that makes you fat. It’s your self image.
Think of it this way. Your self image is like a cybernetic instrument like the autopilot on an airplane. Whenever the plane goes off course then it notices and slowly find its way back on track where it was before. Same thing goes for you. You’re going on a different course (lifestyle/diet) and then your autopilot (self image) notice and gets you back on the track you were before. As mentioned, if your lifestyle and self image does not go hand in hand you’ll never succeed.
It’s not just weight loss. The same goes with every area of your life. If you want success, more money, better friends, a better mood, better grades, to stop smoking and so on. But it can be difficult. Maybe in the past you finally decided to try something new to change your life because you were not happy with your situation but it didn’t work out. Maybe you tried again but with the same result. Most people live their whole life this way. Not because they’re not able to do better, but because they don’t know about their self image, and after taking all those hits to their pride it can actually make their situation even worse. They alter their self image but in the wrong direction. They lower their expectations, set smaller, more “realistic” and “reasonable” goals or even worse none at all. Some people even start hanging around with people who’re even worse off than themselves just to make themself feel better. But you can’t be around those people for long before you end up just like them yourself. It’s a really terrible way to sabotage yourself.
“Wrong labels can keep you from your destiny. Especially the ones you put on yourself”
It can be very hard to change your self image, but the most important part is firstly to be aware of it. Know that your current self image is just made up from past events. It’s just old patterns in your brain. The good news is that those can be changed. You have to know that you’re in control of everything. It’s all about you. No-one or nothing else. When you become aware of your self image you’ll be able to see your true self for the first time. You’ll know who you really are, and it’s not what you have been telling yourself this whole time. You’ll see your strength but also notice the areas that you need to improve in. You’ll be able to accept it, work on it and move forward.
What is important to know is that you’re not worse off than anyone else. Like i used to, you also might think that your personality is in the way of you being able to improve yourself. Maybe you’re and introvert, shy or unconfident. But the thing is that self love, courage and confidence is not personality trades but skills that everyone can learn. You and me included.
You need to change your beliefs and the things that you tell yourself. You’re now aware of the self image and it’s time to go work on yourself. It takes a lot of work to improve yourself and become who you truly know you are, but it also takes a lot of work and energy to stay stuck where you are now. Use your energy on something that is beneficial to you. Don’t let the image that you’ve had of yourself up until now stand in the way of you having an amazing life.
Now you know, and when you know you have a choice. It’s all up to you now. You have the power to change. Only you.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to like and share if you enjoyed it, and please let me know what you think and if I can improve anything.
Make a great day